reviews of films.. KAPOW!

Big Pink rose done by Steve Wade at the All Seeing Eye Tattoo Lounge in Bradford, West Yorkshire.

Instagram: @steve_wade_tattoo

Big Pink rose done by Steve Wade at the All Seeing Eye Tattoo Lounge in Bradford, West Yorkshire.
Instagram: @steve_wade_tattoo

Is it morally wrong to offer free nipple tattoos??

(via cthuloops)

Is it morally wrong to offer free nipple tattoos??

Bloody brilliant leg piece!

(Source: the-king-haggard, via cafalexis-deactivated20120527)

Bloody brilliant leg piece!


Jeff Gogue.

Truly amazing

Yeah, I no longer update this blog, sorry folks.

Writing film reviews is just far too time consuming.

However, I keep my other blog right upto date.

Dedicated to tattoo’s if you hadn’t guessed. You can upload your own too.

Human Planet

Human Planet

Ok, first off, this is a documentary NOT a film.. I realise this, but I watched 6 long episodes of this including all the ‘behind the lense’ documentaries which followed each episode and thought it deserved a review.

This is simply amazing. The shots and quality of all the footage throughout the series is totally aweinspiring and completely jaw dropping. Words can’t do it justice. Basically the episodes are split up into following the lifestyles of cultures of humans living in different extreme enviroments at such a stark contrast to anything we’re used to seeing makes this unbeatable viewing. So it takes a look at people living in the grasslands, the dessert, the arctic, on water, bleak mountains etc.. you get the idea.

I’ve always had a passion for travel and love the idea of seeing civilizations off the beaten track, but holy shit… the chances of ever seeing these lifestyles other than on this documentary series are practically impossible. I mean.. you can’t just pop into your local Thomas Cook and ask for a weekend break to these places!

So what do you get to see that’s so interesting? OK here’s a little taster of the type of things. How about when you go fishing and you catch yourself a whopper you need two hands to hold using £1000’s of fishing equipment? Well, some of these half naked tribes people can go out to sea on a hand made canoe and catch themselves a goddamn shark with nothing but a bit of rope and a plank of wood.. OR,. how about getting your town fed by harpooning a sperm whale by leaping off your rotting boat with a stick as a harpoon? That’s how these dudes roll.
Also there are fellas on here that can somehow go up to 15 Lions and steal their food. You need real brass balls the size of coconuts to do that. Catching food with a fucking eagle, swimming underwater for 5 minutes, small children eating spiders the size of dinner plates (they caught themselves) then eating them like fricking marshmallows naked stick fighting.. this documentary has it all.

I have but 1 issue with the whole concept of this series, and here it is.. if these people are SO ‘remarkable and amazing’.. why haven’t they progressed in the last 2 or 3 centuries. I didn’t see a single Tesco’s in the Mongolian mountains or African desserts. These people are eating the same crap day after day.. there’s no variety. Surely the remarkable humans are those that have put a man on the fucking moon? Also,.. it follows a group who live in a dessert and can travel 80 mile and still find a 1m square water hole in the dessert just from the shape of the dunes… Remarkable? I think not,… I walked 5 yards and got my water from a tap. Surely thats more remarkable. Now, I don’t think this is being harsh although it may seem like it, I do realise some of these people have actually no choice or any kind of money or help to get things done, but surely that’s another factor of their failing as a civilization? Is it not? Maybe the people in charge of their countries who have control of the purse strings have spent all the wealth on guns and ammo rather than looking after the people who need it most.. ok,.. i’m not sure of any of the above so better shut up. However, I realise this isn’t the aim of the documentary and I have to say the freedom some of the people have is extremely appealing, and they have a better view from their bedroom then I do living in Leeds.

My rating: 5 out of bloody 5!! It’s brilliant, get it watched!

Stealing food from 15 lions!

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

First Day

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life, is a French film (Otherwise known as ‘Le Premier Jour du Reste de ta Vie’) which I found to be quite a bizarre film that follows the individual lives of an ordinary French family consisting of a Mum and Dad, 2 sons and a daughter.

Due to the nature of the film it seems to start slowly, drifting along with no real storyline as such, no start, middle or end, however I found myself going from lazily watching it to becoming more engrossed as the film went on.

People may disagree but the feel of this film was similar to other films such as Magnolia where you get to see moments in peoples lives that usually you wouldn’t be privvy to.

I loved this film, by the end I felt that I hadn’t given it enough of my attention at the start and that I should at some point re-watch it to give the film it’s chance. I think you will laugh quite a bit, get angry quite a bit and ultimately be moved by the whole films experience.

My personal favorite moment in the film is the Dad teaching the son tips on playing the best air guitar for a competition he enters. Pure genius. In fact, the more I reminise about this film the more I realise how much I enjoyed it.

The soundtrack isn’t to be sniffed at either, with Lou Reeds ‘Perfect Day’ being expertly used. This is a great film. Watch it,… just don’t cry like a whiney bitch at the end! Man up.

My rating: 4 out of 5

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life - Trailer



Set in Patagonia this is film about a mechanic who after being made redundant is forced to scratch a living any way he can, mainly selling knives that he makes himself. Business is poor and through an act of goodwill on a stranded motorist he ends up becoming the new keeper of the motorists dog, a Dogo Argentino breed.

I usually like foreign language films as they tend to take you on a much more realistic journey that Hollywood blockbusters,.. but this was crap. Even though it was crap, i’m a film lover and so somehow still felt obligated to at least give the film it’s due chance and watch it until the end,.. probably shouldn’t of bothered. The film just drifts along while Juan, the main character starts to get himself a bit of good luck only for him to loose it again.

This is more of a student film experimenting with everyday life rather than a thought provoking movie it wanted to be. You did want the Dogo (which is supposed to be a fighting dog) to at least start mauling people in a rabied blur just to give you something other than a depressed man to watch. What’s more Juan has a lousy taste in woman, he pulls a proper minger singer and you can’t help thinking that he’d of been better shacking up with the dog. Again.. this would of made the film more entertaining. This had potential to be a great film if someone creative had done the storyboard with the same characters. Knives and fighting dogs, c’mon… use your balls and do something with them!

Sorry Bombon.. you suck ass.

My rating: 2 out of 5 (only because I like dogs, the film is piss poor).

Bombon trailer

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Scot Pilgrim Vs. The World

Ohhhhh…. yeaaaaahhhhh! An Epic of Epic Epicness indeed. This film right from the outset makes you smile. Brilliantly filmed, great dialogue, well acted (in an extremely tongue in cheek kinda way) and a kooky, crazy story line.
Basic story is the Scot Pilgrim cops off with a cool girl, but in order to date her he must fight her 7 evil exes to the death. This is done in a unique way with no blood and guts and really works well because of it. If you die you explode into coins.. like a coin-op computer game thingy. Totally original, totally quirky.

The film is heavily based around geeky computer games which if you’re of an age will recognise in the films along with Japanese fighting games like Street Fighter and i’m sure a bit of Soul Caliber. If you’ve played these type of games you will recognise some of the fight moves used in the film.

This isn’t a fight film though as I may suggest.. it’s more of a strange love film with rock and roll and other random stuff. I personally liked his 17 year old Japanese girlfriend ‘Knives’. The thing is,.. right from the outset I couldn’t get why such a nerdy looking kid like Michael Cera (who plays Scott Pilgrim) would ever be able to pull a chick like Knives or indeed his main girl in the film ‘Ramona Flowers’.. that didn’t add up for me, but I didn’t really give a shit about that to be honest, I just went with it.

The film will make you want to pick up a guitar and rock the socks off your cocks and fight strangers for no reason. It’s a breath of fresh air and full of style. HOWEVER… although well acted, I didn’t really like the Ramona character, she just came across as a bit of a bitch and you didn’t want Scott to be with her so this kinda screwed the whole film up for me a little. Still enjoyed watching it though, so can’t of mattered too much. I recommend this film for a night in with your partner with a beer… Get you guitar at the ready though.

My rating: 4 out of 5 (Yeah,.. I know i’ve rated Hollow Man higher,.. I know you probably disagree. Tough titty!)

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World Trailer

Hollow Man


Last night I delved into the deep depths of my DVD collection and dug out an old favourite… Hollow Man starring Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth Shue. The story is based around a small team of genetic scientists trying to crack the code to turn people invisible and then back again.

I think this is a fantastic out and out action film with some supurb acting from Bacon aided by supurb special effects that still impress now years after the film was made.

Bacons character ‘Sebastian’ is extremely likable although you know you shouldn’t like him,.. but you’ve got to because he’s a genius, drives a Porsche convertible and is invisible! What’s not to like. Unfortunately rather than just sneaking into the woman’s changing rooms he just takes it a bit too far with a bit of raping.

The films full of holes such as making things invisible is easy peesy,.. it’s just changing them back thats hard. Whaaa.? easy? yeah, ok, we’ll just go with that then.. but it’s science fiction and you just have to unplug and enjoy the madness of the films idea.

There are tense moments in the film right from the start when they try to bring a gorilla back from being invisible. They get round the invisible things with using steam, water etc and it just adds to it all. Almost like a ghost film where the ghosts are actually real and you can be grabbed (or of course raped) by them.

Anyhow, great film, pure escapism, brutal fun, great effects, good acting and Elizabeth Shue looking hot as hell. Kevin Bacon is as brilliant as always.

My rating: 4.5

Hollow Man Trailer